so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
