Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
