Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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