Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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