Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
