I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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