My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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