your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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