just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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