I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
