shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
