I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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