i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
