if you like me you must not know who I am
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize