hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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