I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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