This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
