I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
