I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
