very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
