i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
A bitchslap is in order.
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