I'm really into asian looking animals
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
