i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
