yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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