I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
