I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
