Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
