I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
