Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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