We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
