alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
