yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
