Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
