Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize