you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
