bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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