he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
