You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
