dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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