Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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