sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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