Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
