So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
