I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
