Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I think pants incapable of making pants work
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize
