i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
