i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
