I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
We had sex on a dog bed..
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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