dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
