dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
