i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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