Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
