cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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