woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
