I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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