I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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