Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
