just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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