his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
