my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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