He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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