you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
