being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
