Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
