I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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