At least make sure they are 18
Why
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
