shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
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