Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
