You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
