It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize