At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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